Pee-you! B'kak! P'tooey!

by Caroline Lawrence

Hey, KIDS! If you went back in a TIME MACHINE to ANCIENT ROME, what do you think would surprise you most?

I'm thinking THREE THINGS.

Roman funeral pyre

1. PEE-YOU! (the smell)

They washed clothes in urine (PEE) and then smoked them with sulphur (smells like ROTTEN EGGS). But those little MUREX sea-snails they used to dye cloth scarlet smelled even worse! Steaming piles of HORSE, OXEN and DONKEY MANURE sat right there in the streets. People had BAD BREATH caused by rotten teeth. (We know this because they DRANK PERFUME to make their breath smell better.) Daily sacrifices would have made a RANCID BAR-B-QUE smell. And smoke from a thousand braziers would have caused terrible SMOG. Also, they BURNED DEAD BODIES (cremated) in the graveyard just outside the town walls. Market-stall-keepers probably left FRUIT and scraps of MEAT to ROT! You wouldn't want to be downwind of the garum factories; there would be an awful FISHY smell from the blood and fermented fish GUTS. There would have been lots of SWEATY MEN and PERSPIRING LADIES because there was no deodorant! Have you ever smelled the sickly sweet smell of OPEN SEWERS in the heat? Urgh. Not to mention the PUBLIC TOILETS with multiple seats but no doors (see picture below). And some famous graffiti from Pompeii asks people not to POO in the street. Ew. At night they carried PINE-PITCH torches. But those might have smelled nice because they sometimes burned PINECONES as AIR FRESHENER.

Can you think of any other yukky smells?

soothsayer and sacred chicken

2. B'KAK! (free range animals)
I think there would have been ANIMALS everywhere in ANCIENT ROME. Walking through the Roman Forum, you would have to be careful not to trip over GUARD DOGS, LAP DOGS, SCAVENGING DOGS, Mangy half-wild CATS & RATS feeding on rotting food. You might see a goat herd driving his GOATS to the Forum Boarium, a cow herder driving his CATTLE to the Forum Boarium, a shepherd driving his SHEEP to the Forum Boarium. A priest leading an OX to the altar would be a common sight. So would a priest leading a RAM to the altar.  SACRED CHICKENS, FREE-RANGE CHICKENS, CHICKENS IN A MARKET PEN. SACRED GEESE on the Capitoline Hill were fierce enough to act as guards. Also, what about BUGS? There would have been NITS, LICE, COCKROACHES, FLEAS, FLIES, MOSQUITOES, WEEVILS and DUNG BEETLES. Guess what? Near Ostia's port of Rome there was an ELEPHANT farm to supply the GAMES. Maybe sometimes other WILD ANIMALS destined for BEAST HUNTS in the Colosseum got loose, too.

Can you think of any other animals you might have seen in Ancient Rome?


2. P'TOOEY! (superstition)

whistling in the latrines by Helen Forte 

Romans were INCREDIBLY superstitious and probably SPAT on the ground, KNOCKED ON WOOD, made RUDE GESTURES and grabbed their WILLIES to fend off EVIL. A non-rude SIGN AGAINST EVIL is to hold out your left hand palm first. Here were some NO-NOs that might bring BAD LUCK crashing down on you: Stepping over the threshold with your LEFT FOOT. SNEEZING on board a ship. CUTTING YOUR HAIR on board ship. Doing ANYTHING on the anniversary of a terrible DEFEAT. Romans wore good luck AMULETS shaped like MEDUSA's FACE, EYEBALLS and WILLIES. They feared the EVIL EYE and were wary of people with BLUE EYES. They studied BIRD PATTERNS to see what the gods were saying. Also LIGHTNING, THUNDER and WIND. It was bad luck to get MARRIED in JUNE! Any animal born with a DEFECT was a monstrum or PORTENT. Romans thought DEMONS lived in the SEWERS. To stop them POPPING UP you could WHISTLE. That's why they painted SNAKES & FORTUNA (good luck) on bathroom walls. A HARUSPEX was a man who looked at animal guts to see what the gods were saying. An AUGUR studied BIRDS and WEATHER. A SOOTHSAYER used any methods he could to foresee the future so you could stay safe. Also, most Romans had an altar called a LARARIUM in their house so they could make DAILY OFFERINGS to their special gods. And what do you find hundreds of in museums and at Roman sites? ALTARS. These were stone slabs dedicated to the god in fulfilment of a vow. You could make little offerings on them, too, sometimes even slaughter an animal, which was called a SACRIFICE.

Can you think of any other strange superstitious beliefs they held?

Threptus the beggar by Helen Forte

One of the things I try to do in my books is make them a bit like a TIME MACHINE to take you back to Ancient Rome. I start with an interesting character, put him in an exciting story and then mix in some of the SURPRISING and UNUSUAL ingredients of life in ANCIENT ROME.

My newest series is about a BEGGAR BOY turned SOOTHSAYER's APPRENTICE who lives in OSTIA the PORT of ROME. His name is THREPTUS and he is 8 years old.

We first meet THREPTUS in The Man from Pomegranate Street, when he is bidding four young detectives farewell. The youngest detective, LUPUS, tells Threptus to CARRY ON MY GOOD WORK and gives him a wax tablet.

THREPTUS then pops up in a short story called "Threptus and the Sacred Chickens" in The Legionary from Londinium and other Mini-Mysteries. Ingredients include a KITTEN, a SOOTHSAYER and of course some SACRED CHICKENS. 

Threptus the Roman beggar boy gets a mystery all to himself in The Sewer Demon. In that book, poor THREPTUS has to GO DOWN THE SEWER to look for CLUES!

Pee-you! (illustration from The Sewer Demon by Helen Forte)

Next comes The Poisoned Honey Cake. In that book poor THREPTUS is so hungry that he steals a honey-cake dedicated to a demigod and LOSES HIS VOICE. He has to solve the MYSTERY of how to get his voice back. This book includes ALTARS, SACRIFICIAL HONEY CAKES and SACRED CHICKENS.

I hope you will enjoy all the SMELLY, ANIMAL-FILLED and SPOOKY bits of my stories about THREPTUS, the Roman beggar turned soothsayer's apprentice. www.carolinelawrence.com

Introducing Threptus

I am hoping to write a Roman Mysteries spin-off series starring a beggar boy called Threptus. He appears in The Man from Pomegranate Street and a short story called "Threptus and the Sacred Chickens" from my final volume of mini-mysteries: The Legionary from Londinium. Here is an a brilliant imagining of Threptus by Minimus illustrator Helen Forte. If you want to help me think of a series title, please vote in the poll on the left!

INTRODUCING THREPTUS

Threptus is an eight-year-old Ostian beggar-boy who idolizes Lupus. After the death of the emperor Titus in AD 81, Lupus and his friends Flavia, Jonathan and Nubia have to leave Ostia in a hurry! Before they go, Lupus gives starstruck Threptus his wax tablet and stylus. On the tablet, Lupus has written: CARRY ON MY GOOD WORK. Proud Threptus is determined to become a detective, like his hero, and make the port of Rome a better place to live. He leaves his life of begging to become apprentice to a soothsayer named Floridius. But how can an ordinary eight-year-old beggar-boy make a difference? By using his wits to solve mysteries and overcome baddies, of course! The Roman Mysteries were for children aged 8 and up. These books will be suitable for children even younger, but existing fans will love them, too!

;)

Saturnalia Quiz

Saturnalia in The Roman Mysteries TV series

Would it surprise you to learn that many of the customs we observe at Christmas go back to Roman times and have nothing to do with the birth of baby Jesus?

Here is a quiz for you to test your knowledge of the Roman SATURNALIA and its influence on modern Christmas.

1. The followers of which deity celebrated his birth on 25 December?
a) Sol Invictus
b) Mithras
c) Jesus Christ
d) all of the above

2. Three days before 25 December, what event occurs?
a) Summer Solstice
b) Summer Equinox
c) Winter Solstice
d) Winter Equinox
e) Easter

3. The Romans gave gifts on the Saturnalia. Which of the following did they NOT give?
a) chocolate
b) silver objects
c) preserved fruit
d) small clay or wooden figures

4. Mottoes and riddles in Christmas crackers might go back to the Roman practice of
a) hiring comic actors to deliver gifts
b) writing epigrams for Saturnalia gifts
c) Roman singing telegrams (in dactylic pentameter)
d) memorizing and reciting lines from Virgil’s Aeneid as a Saturnalia party trick

5. Which ONE of the following Christmas customs did NOT orignate in the Saturnalia:
a) feasting
b) drinking
c) putting up lights
d) putting up greenery
e) Santa and his reindeer
f) giving gifts
g) taking time off work

6. In first century Rome, which illegal practice was permitted only during the Saturnalia?
a) murder
b) theft
c) witchcraft
d) gambling

7. The paper crown in British Christmas crackers reminds us of the Roman custom of:
a) choosing a ‘King’ of the Saturnalia
b) Caesar wearing a wreath
c) the Etruscan king Tarquin
d) It has nothing to do with any Roman custom

8. Santa's red conical hat might well be traced back to hats worn during Saturnalia by:
a) Trojans
b) Greeks
c) Persians
d) Smurfs
e) freedmen

9. Here are some more Christmas customs which might go back to the Saturnalia. Which one is bogus?
a) mulled wine
b) Christmas stockings
c) singing songs
d) pantomime

10. Which of the following foods was certainly NOT part of the Saturnalia feast?
a) hot chestnuts
b) honey-glazed ham
c) turkey and mashed potato
d) roast peacock

To find out more about the Saturnalia, check out my blog about A Roman Christmas!

Some fun kids’ book set in first century Rome during the Saturnalia are The Twelve Tasks of Flavia Gemina in my Roman Mysteries series and The Thunder Omen in my Roman Mystery Scrolls series; it features dancing Saturnalia chickens and illustrations by Minimus Latin Course artist Helen Forte.  The episode of the BBC TV series based on The Twelve Tasks of Flavia Gemina shows what the Saturnalia might have looked like.  

Answers: 1 = d; 2 = c; 3 = a; 4 = b; 5 = e; 6 = d; 7 = a; 8 = e; 9 = b; 10 = c