Roman Murder Mystery!

[a guest post by Emily Robb, aged 15]

Emily Robb with sheep and helpers

There are five minutes to go until lunchtime: I’m frantically running around my school hall, straightening chairs, propping up toy sheep and running over what I’ll say when 120 Year 7s ask me if I did it; if I killed Marcia Dorothea.

This is in fact not quite as dark and worrying as it may sound.

As a year 11 History prefect it is often my job to talk to prospective students about the subject, help out at lectures and give girls a tour of my school but it is also frequently my job to step back in time, throw on an extraordinarily unflattering costume and act.

In the past two years I have dressed up as a Georgian, a 1920s ‘Flapper’, President Wilson, Neville Chamberlain and now a few weeks ago I became a Roman farmer named Davus in a murder mystery that the History and Latin prefects had organised. Poor Davus’ calm, albeit slightly dull, lifestyle had suddenly become threatened by the ghastly reality of being held suspect in a murder inquiry – and the terrifying prospect of being interrogated by a squealing mass of twelve-year-olds.

Year 7 detectives!

We were keen to make the event as enticing and exciting as possible and so, as a soon-to-be-released film issues trailers to its potential audience, the prefects got to work on some serious marketing. Our main concern was that the murder mystery was not compulsory; would anyone sacrifice their place in the lunch queue and turn up? We were constantly told by teachers that it would be fine – of course they’d turn up – they’re Year 7s: they’ll go to anything! Still we had doubts, so over the next term we started to get inventive and created as many intriguing clues as possible.

The first of these clues interrupted an orderly assembly for their year group when a video was suddenly projected onto the screen of what seemed to be an ancient Roman news reporter (my friend Polly, the Latin prefect), delivering what appeared to be an ancient Roman news bulletin – and an extremely dull one at that. Polly drones on in a dismally monotonous voice about a young girl named Cornelia, sitting under a tree and a cart which has been stuck in a ditch for a good many chapters now (Slight tongue-in-cheek Ecce Romani jokes – anyone remember Ecce Romani?)

suspects?

Just before one of the poor confused year sevens stuck up their hand to ask what on earth was going on, a very urgent looking arm is thrust into camera-shot, holding in its shaking hand a piece of parchment. A rather startled news reporter hurriedly reads through its contents; breaking news, you see, was not commonplace in Ancient Rome. With an exaggerated gasp and eyes aglow with the burden of death, Polly regrettably informs the hall full of twelve year olds that a murder has taken place and that it is from this point forth, their duty to find out who is responsible.

Enticing? We thought so. Next, various prefects arranged for mysterious clues to be included in the daily bulletin that is read out every morning to classes during form-time. These featured cryptic messages such as ‘Don’t be fooled. Refuse the priest a drink’ which would come in handy for them later.

A teacher with cameraman!

The final advertising effort involved quite a large amount of embarrassment on our parts and quite a lot of confusion on theirs. The day before the mystery was to take place the entire cast trudged unwillingly into the changing rooms at the beginning of lunch and worriedly got changed into Roman clothes – armour, tunics, religious robes: the whole shebang. This was definitely going to invite a few laughs at our expense. However we were pleasantly surprised and extremely encouraged by the fact that upon stepping out of the changing rooms and making a rather doleful walk into the canteen we were mobbed by large packs of year sevens, asking us questions and being frankly rather frightening. Nevertheless – the detectives were ready.

The Poster!

With these plans secured, we now felt slightly more confident that the young inspectors were actually going to turn up but we still had much to prepare. Between us, over the next few weeks, maps were drawn, suspects cast, scripts written and scenery planned. As Davus the farmer, it was I who had the misfortune of finding the body of the deceased – a tricky situation to explain when being rigorously interrogated by the surprisingly scary year sevens. However I was innocent (HOORAH!) and I was extremely glad about this; I’m not sure I could have borne the guilt and evidently may have cracked under the judgemental glare of the detectives.

On the day, we arrived a little before lunchtime to set up the hall where the murder mystery would take place. An extremely large poster designed to draw the year sevens in, covered the doors to the hall, with a special message from Caroline Lawrence – author of The Roman Mysteries – wishing the girls luck, at the bottom.

The corpse!

Upon entering the hall the girls were greeted by a rather sombre looking pathologist who showed to them the body (quelle horreur!) from where they were encouraged to follow the path and ask questions of anyone they may pass in doing so. As they journeyed through passageways, through curtains and over rivers the eager detectives seemed prone to beginning their interrogation rather tactlessly with the simple question ‘Was it you?’ Whilst rather dramatic piano music accompanied their travels, the girls questioned lumberjacks, jewellery sellers, mosaic artists, money lenders, slaves, guards, the two temple priests and myself; the farmer. All in costume we made a humorous scene; I surrounded by a field of toy sheep, others clasping cardboard spears and others dressed in head-to-toe religious attire.

signed first edition!

We were surprised and delighted by the amount of staff that couldn’t resist trying their hand at being Poirot or Miss Marple for a lunchtime; one teacher was even accompanied by his own camera man and a full set of thorough interview questions– claiming to be from the local news. The hour whizzed by, with girls still hurriedly filling in sheets in the last minute. The fun wasn’t over, though, as the next week in assembly we got to present the three winners and four runners up with their prizes. For the runners up, sugar mice and for the winning detectives who managed to correctly solve the murder in the shortest time beautiful signed copies of The Slave-Girl from Jerusalem by Caroline of course! What better prize for a Roman Murder Mystery than a copy of the Roman Mysteries?!

I had a fantastic time organising and partaking in the murder mystery and would just like to thank Caroline for her generosity in giving the prizes; they really made it something special! When I look back on my school days as an adult it will be these moments that I’ll remember; not the horrific maths tests or the everlasting physics lessons – the moments where the staff and students work together outside the classroom to create something for everyone to enjoy. I won’t forget the fun I had as Davus the Roman farmer, in fact, after all the worrying, I think I rather prefer his comfy tunic to my school uniform.

Carpe Diem!

P.S. The louder of the two temple priests was the murderer; a priest with a partiality for the wine…

Pee-you! B'kak! P'tooey!

by Caroline Lawrence

Hey, KIDS! If you went back in a TIME MACHINE to ANCIENT ROME, what do you think would surprise you most?

I'm thinking THREE THINGS.

Roman funeral pyre

1. PEE-YOU! (the smell)

They washed clothes in urine (PEE) and then smoked them with sulphur (smells like ROTTEN EGGS). But those little MUREX sea-snails they used to dye cloth scarlet smelled even worse! Steaming piles of HORSE, OXEN and DONKEY MANURE sat right there in the streets. People had BAD BREATH caused by rotten teeth. (We know this because they DRANK PERFUME to make their breath smell better.) Daily sacrifices would have made a RANCID BAR-B-QUE smell. And smoke from a thousand braziers would have caused terrible SMOG. Also, they BURNED DEAD BODIES (cremated) in the graveyard just outside the town walls. Market-stall-keepers probably left FRUIT and scraps of MEAT to ROT! You wouldn't want to be downwind of the garum factories; there would be an awful FISHY smell from the blood and fermented fish GUTS. There would have been lots of SWEATY MEN and PERSPIRING LADIES because there was no deodorant! Have you ever smelled the sickly sweet smell of OPEN SEWERS in the heat? Urgh. Not to mention the PUBLIC TOILETS with multiple seats but no doors (see picture below). And some famous graffiti from Pompeii asks people not to POO in the street. Ew. At night they carried PINE-PITCH torches. But those might have smelled nice because they sometimes burned PINECONES as AIR FRESHENER.

Can you think of any other yukky smells?

soothsayer and sacred chicken

2. B'KAK! (free range animals)
I think there would have been ANIMALS everywhere in ANCIENT ROME. Walking through the Roman Forum, you would have to be careful not to trip over GUARD DOGS, LAP DOGS, SCAVENGING DOGS, Mangy half-wild CATS & RATS feeding on rotting food. You might see a goat herd driving his GOATS to the Forum Boarium, a cow herder driving his CATTLE to the Forum Boarium, a shepherd driving his SHEEP to the Forum Boarium. A priest leading an OX to the altar would be a common sight. So would a priest leading a RAM to the altar.  SACRED CHICKENS, FREE-RANGE CHICKENS, CHICKENS IN A MARKET PEN. SACRED GEESE on the Capitoline Hill were fierce enough to act as guards. Also, what about BUGS? There would have been NITS, LICE, COCKROACHES, FLEAS, FLIES, MOSQUITOES, WEEVILS and DUNG BEETLES. Guess what? Near Ostia's port of Rome there was an ELEPHANT farm to supply the GAMES. Maybe sometimes other WILD ANIMALS destined for BEAST HUNTS in the Colosseum got loose, too.

Can you think of any other animals you might have seen in Ancient Rome?


2. P'TOOEY! (superstition)

whistling in the latrines by Helen Forte 

Romans were INCREDIBLY superstitious and probably SPAT on the ground, KNOCKED ON WOOD, made RUDE GESTURES and grabbed their WILLIES to fend off EVIL. A non-rude SIGN AGAINST EVIL is to hold out your left hand palm first. Here were some NO-NOs that might bring BAD LUCK crashing down on you: Stepping over the threshold with your LEFT FOOT. SNEEZING on board a ship. CUTTING YOUR HAIR on board ship. Doing ANYTHING on the anniversary of a terrible DEFEAT. Romans wore good luck AMULETS shaped like MEDUSA's FACE, EYEBALLS and WILLIES. They feared the EVIL EYE and were wary of people with BLUE EYES. They studied BIRD PATTERNS to see what the gods were saying. Also LIGHTNING, THUNDER and WIND. It was bad luck to get MARRIED in JUNE! Any animal born with a DEFECT was a monstrum or PORTENT. Romans thought DEMONS lived in the SEWERS. To stop them POPPING UP you could WHISTLE. That's why they painted SNAKES & FORTUNA (good luck) on bathroom walls. A HARUSPEX was a man who looked at animal guts to see what the gods were saying. An AUGUR studied BIRDS and WEATHER. A SOOTHSAYER used any methods he could to foresee the future so you could stay safe. Also, most Romans had an altar called a LARARIUM in their house so they could make DAILY OFFERINGS to their special gods. And what do you find hundreds of in museums and at Roman sites? ALTARS. These were stone slabs dedicated to the god in fulfilment of a vow. You could make little offerings on them, too, sometimes even slaughter an animal, which was called a SACRIFICE.

Can you think of any other strange superstitious beliefs they held?

Threptus the beggar by Helen Forte

One of the things I try to do in my books is make them a bit like a TIME MACHINE to take you back to Ancient Rome. I start with an interesting character, put him in an exciting story and then mix in some of the SURPRISING and UNUSUAL ingredients of life in ANCIENT ROME.

My newest series is about a BEGGAR BOY turned SOOTHSAYER's APPRENTICE who lives in OSTIA the PORT of ROME. His name is THREPTUS and he is 8 years old.

We first meet THREPTUS in The Man from Pomegranate Street, when he is bidding four young detectives farewell. The youngest detective, LUPUS, tells Threptus to CARRY ON MY GOOD WORK and gives him a wax tablet.

THREPTUS then pops up in a short story called "Threptus and the Sacred Chickens" in The Legionary from Londinium and other Mini-Mysteries. Ingredients include a KITTEN, a SOOTHSAYER and of course some SACRED CHICKENS. 

Threptus the Roman beggar boy gets a mystery all to himself in The Sewer Demon. In that book, poor THREPTUS has to GO DOWN THE SEWER to look for CLUES!

Pee-you! (illustration from The Sewer Demon by Helen Forte)

Next comes The Poisoned Honey Cake. In that book poor THREPTUS is so hungry that he steals a honey-cake dedicated to a demigod and LOSES HIS VOICE. He has to solve the MYSTERY of how to get his voice back. This book includes ALTARS, SACRIFICIAL HONEY CAKES and SACRED CHICKENS.

I hope you will enjoy all the SMELLY, ANIMAL-FILLED and SPOOKY bits of my stories about THREPTUS, the Roman beggar turned soothsayer's apprentice. www.carolinelawrence.com

Cowboy Fest 2011

Yee-haw! Another ripsnorting weekend at the Santa Clarita Cowboy Festival!

Even before the weekend started we took a Tour of Santa Clarita Valley film studios and sights on Thursday 28 April and on Friday evening we attended the Melody Ranch Movie Night, a fun open-air dinner on main street of a western town, followed by a screening of the film "Stagecoach".

My highlights of the weekend proper were the Behind the Scenes Tour of Melody Ranch. We found out where Al Swearengen drank his coffee, where Wu kept his pigs and lots of other fascinating facts about the history of the site.

A new event sponsored by Buckaroo Book Shop (AKA OutWest) were some literary panels. I especially loved the discussion of True Grit, comparing the two films to the book. It was chaired by C. Courtney Joyner who told us things I never knew, e.g. that Charles Portis himself wrote the alternate ending for the John Wayne version of the film!

I was there with my husband Richard and sister Jennifer. We heard some of our favorite musicans, like the Brass Band of California who are always lively, funny and accurate. (I got some tips about 1860s Music Hall traditions.) We also managed to catch Wylie and the Wild West and the Hot Club of Cowtown. I missed Sourdough Slim and his saw-playing sidekick, but Richard and Jennifer loved them.

It was great to meet re-enactors like the Buffalo Soldiers and Ann Dinsdale, (above), who was spinning and weaving on the porch next to Sheriff Bullock's house.

The merchandise was another highlight, too. I was tempted by a coyote pelt, but ended up buying a beautiful carpetbag from Jerry Tarantino. I can use it to carry my spittoon to school events and literary festivals when I promote my Western Mysteries in costume.

Food'n'drink were great, too. There's nothing like drinking coffee from a tin mug and eating peach cobbler while listening to Don Edwards over on the Main Stage.

It was great to meet some old friends and also to make new ones. I've never been anywhere as friendly and fun as the Cowboy Festival. Here Here are some pictures to give you an idea of the fun we had! Yee-haw!

Punk cowboys were in evidence!

John Hustead lassoes us!

Wild Bill Hickock got himself a Lady friend!

Scrimshaw Rick shoots, skins and makes his clothes himself!

Some people were totally authentic!

But everybody had a great time. Can't wait till 2012... Yee-haw!

Ancient Roman Chewing Gum

One of the things I love about researching the Ancient Romans is how much like us they were. Did you know Romans even had a version of chewing gum? It was called mastic or “mastiha” (in Greek: μαστίχα). Here is a story about MASTIC.

A few years ago my husband and I were spending Christmas in Athens while I researched my tenth Roman Mystery, The Fugitive from Corinth. One evening, after a delicious meal of meze and chicken, the waiter brought us a complimentary digestif. The clear liqueur was served in a tiny shot glass. At first I thought it was an Italian drink called grappa. But as soon as I tasted it I knew it was flavoured with mastic! Mastic is a resin which only grows on the Greek island of Chios. The waiter said I was the first tourist to guess what it was.

I knew what it was because I had found some mastic nuggets in a shop on the island of Kalymnos the previous summer while researching my 9th Roman Mystery, The Colossus of Rhodes. 

Mastic is hardened drops of sap from a type of evergreen bush called the lentisk tree found only in certain parts of Chios. The resinous nuggets are the original chewing gum. In fact, mastic is the root word of masticate meaning to chew.

When I first found a little round plastic box of them on Kalymnos, I hesitated to try one. But I bravely popped it in my mouth and began to chew. It tasted like... mastic. I can best describe it as a sweet cross between cumin and carrot. The nugget was translucent when I put it in my mouth, but after chewing it for a minute or so, I took it out and examined it in surprise: the translucent, pale yellow nugget had turned white and opaque, and looked exactly like modern chewing gum.

In Roman times, doctors recommended that patients chew mastic gum to freshen their breath and calm stomach upsets. People today chew it for the same reasons.

In ancient Rome and Greece, people did not wear deodorant and many must have had rotting teeth. We know from the 1st century AD poet poet Marcus Valerius Martialis (AKA Martial) that some Romans had such bad breath that they added perfume to their wine! Others chomped mastic gum to freshen their breath. Some Romans even used toothpicks made from slivers of mastic. Here is an epigram (a two-lined poem) which  Martial wrote about a toothpick made of a bird's feather and not of mastic, which proved some were made of mastic:

This toothpick is only made of the feather 
that helps a bird in flight, 
It’s not as good as mastic, 
but will keep your teeth clean and bright. 

Martial also wrote this short poem, about a bald man who pretends to pick his teeth with a mastic toothpick so people won't realise he is toothless:

That man who lies lowest on 
the middle couch [the place of honour] 
he of the bald head with its three strands 
of hair and dribbles of perfume, 
who picks his loose mouth 
with shaved sticks of mastic,
he is a liar, Aefulanus... 
because he has no teeth!
(Martial VI.74)

You can still buy mastic gum today in some specialty Greek or Turkish shops. I have found sugar-free packs at Greenfields on Crawford Street in London. And of course you can buy them on Amazon. But the ones in my picture up at the top of this post are the raw drops, just like the Romans would have chewed.

ELMA mastic gum from Chios via Greenfields, 35 Crawford St, W1H 1PL

See if you can find some mastic gum and chew it. Some specialist ice-cream shops occasionally sell this flavour, too. Mastic is the taste of ancient Rome!

[The Roman Mysteries are perfect for children aged 9+, especially those studying Romans as a topic in Key Stage 2. Carrying on from the Roman Mysteries, the Roman Quests series set in Roman Britain launched in May 2016 with Escape from Rome. Season One of the BBC TV series is still available on iTunes.]

Fun Chariot Facts

by Caroline Lawrence, author of The Roman Mysteries

1. Circus is Latin for circle. In the context of racing, it means the chariot racing-track or hippodrome. The Circus Maximus in Rome was the biggest one and seated nearly a quarter of a million* (250,000) people.

2. Unlike the heavy chariots used in most Hollywood depictions, (including all the Ben Hur films), racing chariots were very light and small. They needed to go as fast as possible, and were probably made of wicker and leather. Driving one would have been like surfing a basket on wheels.

3. Most chariots were pulled by ungelded stallions; two for a biga (2-horse chariot) and four for a quadriga (4-horse chariot). As many as 12 teams ran in each race.

Re-enactor from Nîmes should have reins round his waist

4. A charioteer would tie the leather reins around his waist and put a sharp knife in his belt. If he was thrown from his chariot he would try to cut himself free as he was being dragged along. Whenever a chariot crashed, the crowd would yell out 'naufragium!' which means 'shipwreck!' in Latin.

5. Chariots completed seven circuits, marked by dolphins (sacred to Neptune, god of the sea and also of horses) and eggs (sacred to Castor and Pollux).

Charioteer of the Blue faction from Ostia

6. Charioteers wore leather helmets and jerkins in green, blue, red or white: the colours of their factions (teams).

7. Some charioteers began training while they were still children, and many stars of the hippodrome would have been in their teens.

8. A charioteer or horse who had won over a thousand races was called a miliarius.

9. Chariot racing was the most popular spectator sport in ancient Rome – even more popular than gladiatorial combats. Races were not held every day, but only on special occasions or festival days.

10. The Circus represented the Cosmos and every aspect of the hippodrome was symbolic:

The obelisk on the spina (central island) represented the sun.
The water of the euripus (canal in the spina) represented the sea.
The race track itself represented the earth around the sea.
The 4 faction colours represented the four seasons:
(red = summer, blue = autumn, white = winter, green = spring)
The 7 laps the horses had to run represented the days of the week.
The 12 carceres (starting gates) represented the months of the year.
The 24 races held per day represented the hours of the day.
(Yes, Romans divided their days into 24 hours, too)

11. Boys called sparsores had the dangerous job of running onto the track to sprinkle water on the track to keep down the blinding, choking dust. They got the water from the central reservoir and used pots, bowls or water skins to sprinkle it. It was a dangerous job and they sometimes got trampled. 

12. Winners in a chariot race received three things: 
A palm branch to symbolise victory.
A 'crown' (usually a wreath) also standing for victory. 
A purse of money as a prize to be spent, perhaps split between charioteer and the owner of the faction. 


The title of my 12th Roman Mystery, The Charioteer of Delphi, is based on a famous statue from Greece. But it was still buried at the time my book is set, so I couldn't refer to it in the story. Instead, I tell the story of how a Greek youth from Delphi named Scopas might have become Scorpus, one of the most famous charioteers in Roman history.

You can watch modern re-enactors playing with chariots HERE.

illustration by Richard Russell Lawrence © Copyright Roman Mysteries Ltd.

*At a conference in London in June 2014, scholar Tayfun Oner says this figure is far too big. He reckons the Circus Maximus could take only 100,000 people. You can watch his visualisation of a race in the hippodrome of Constantinople HERE.

Read about the only circus found in Britain (so far) HERE.

Four factions clearly visible in this mosaic from Rome

[The Charioteer of Delphi and all the Roman Mysteries are perfect for children aged 9+, especially those studying Romans as a topic in Key Stage 2. Carrying on from the Roman Mysteries, the Roman Quests series set in Roman Britain launched in May 2016 with Escape from Rome.]

P.S. This blog was updated August 2016 for the 6th screen adaptation of Lew Wallace's Ben Hur: A Tale of the Christ 

Storytelling in Star Trek

Narrative techniques used by the makers of Star Trek

Apart from the fact that one character is called Nero and another Tiberius (kind of) the new Star Trek film really doesn’t have anything to do with ancient Rome or The Roman Mysteries. So why a blog entry about it?

Because I love thinking about the craft of storytelling and Star Trek is an example of Hollywood storytelling at its best. Here are some of the tools the screenwriters used to make it fun, exciting and emotionally satisfying.

Caveat Lector: Spoilers adsunt!

1. RE-BOOTING - By invoking time travel, the makers of the franchise have pulled a brilliant coup. They've literally re-booted the whole series. The writers have taken the characters many of us know and love and by changing events in the future which affect the past they have given them the chance to start a whole new raft of adventures.

2. BREAKING THE RULES - In every sci-fi film ever made we all know that if you go back to the past and meet yourself, then the ENTIRE FABRIC OF THE SPACE TIME CONTINUUM will disintegrate. This film pulls a masterstroke by saying actually it's OK. This means wise old Spock can be a mentor to hot-blooded young Spock. This gives us potential for new set-ups and pay-offs we have rarely seen before.

3. RESPECTING & REFERENCING THE PAST – The original Kirk was randy and brash. The original Spock was logical and conflicted. Bones was a compassionate pessimist. Checkov had trouble pronouncing V’s. The film makers give nods to all these well-known traits of the characters we love, often in funny and clever ways. New fans won’t necessarily get the references, but old faithfuls will nod in approval.

4. HERO’S JOURNEY - The plot follows the classic steps of the Hero’s Journey, as articulated by Joseph Campbell, Christopher Vogler and others: the Hero’s World, the Call to Adventure, the Refusal of the Call, the Mentor (Pike: ‘I dare you to do better’), Crossing the Threshold, Collection of Allies, the Training, etc… However, they aren’t afraid to abbreviate steps in order to keep the pace clipping along. The Training is dealt with in two seconds by the title: THREE YEARS LATER, then jumps to a scene which shows us how brilliantly Kirk has combined skills he learned with his rebellious think-outside-the-box nature.

5. SINK OR SWIM - By taking young recruits and promoting them very quickly we get both a VERY YOUNG CREW and also the SUSPENSE that comes with characters possibly out of their depth.

6. DRAMEDY - The term ‘dramedy’ is applied by some screenwriters to a tense scene is tempered or relieved by humour. This is done brilliantly in many places in the new Star Trek film, but especially in the scene where Kirk has trouble imparting life-or-death-info because his fingers and tongue are swollen by an injection. Bones: ‘You have numb tongue?’ This scene also works brilliantly because the funny obstacle also adds suspense.

7. ARCHETYPES – the film makers use some of our favourite archetypes from myth and legend. The Hero – Kirk - who serves and sacrifices. The Mentor – Pike, who tells the hero his capabilities and calls him to adventure. The Sidekick - Bones - who supports the hero and acts as his conscience. The Trickster or Funny one – Scotty – who does the impossible. The Wild One – Spock – the ally with a wild side who often starts out by battling the Hero. He is destined to become a Sidekick, but not in this story.

8. SCENE DEEPENING – stuff going on in the background adds depth to a scene. E.g. the lugubrious alien in the Iowa bar scene between Kirk and Uhura gives a delicious and funny depth to the scene.

9. SET-UPS & PAY-OFFS – ‘I might throw up on you,’ says Bones to Kirk soon after they meet. ‘I might throw up on you,’ says Kirk to Bones a few scenes later. (Sadly the set-up of a prize beagle transported into space is never paid off.)

10. SUBTEXTS & REVEALS - Whoa! Who's Uhura dating? It's unexpected but not too unexpected. Because they did set it up and for a few scenes there was a nice little subtext. (Subtext is when a character is hiding something and we sense it on an unconscious level. This gives a nice depth to characters.)

11. KEEPING ACTION SCENES SIMPLE - Even in a highly advanced society, nothing gets the pulse pounding like fist-fights (I counted four) and cliff-hangers (at least three). They are also a lot easier to follow than complicated Transformer-esque battles, etc.

12. USE OF SYMBOLS – to name just a few:
1. THE PHOENIX - Kirk is born out of flames, like a Phoenix. Also, the escape pod is expelled from the mother ship as he is expelled from his mother.
2. THE MOTORCYCLE - Put a guy in a leather jacket and on a motorcycle and it says: Rebel without a Cause.
3. THE UNIFORM - Kirk does not put on his Starfleet uniform until the very last few scenes, by then he's earned it.
etc...

However there were at least FIVE THINGS that didn’t work.

1. OLD SPOCK - When Kirk is sent to the ice planet and just happens to meet Spock – HUGE coincidence - this should be a powerfully moving moment, but isn’t. This might have something to do with Leonard Nimoy’s mushy diction: a case of bad false teeth.

2. NERO - We are not really interested in the villain or his motives. The attempt to give him a backstory of his own doesn’t really work. Villains are very hard to get right. My favourite villain of all time is probably The Mayor, from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

3. LINGERING NEAR A BLACK HOLE – come ON! Everyone knows when a black hole starts you have to skedaddle!

4. NO REVELATION FOR THE HERO - My mentor John Truby talks about establishing your hero’s need at the beginning. This is something in the hero that needs to change near the end, as the hero has a revelation about himself. Kirk’s need is to be less of a brash rebel and more a team player, Spock’s is to control his repressed human anger. Neither of them have a clear moment when they realise their need and then show that they’ve changed, (though there are hints). I think if these beats had been clearer the end of the story would have had more impact.

5. FLAT ENDING – the famous Star Trek monologue combined with the theme song at the very end of the film should have been a transcendent moment, but it was just kind of… flat. Why? Possibly the structure (see previous flaw)... but who knows? Will have to think about it.