Crossing the Threshold

by Caroline Lawrence

When I first started writing, I didn’t know how to write plot. Then I discovered story structure principles used by Hollywood script gurus like John Truby, Christopher Vogler and Blake Snyder of Save the Cat! fame.

It was a major breakthrough for me.

At first I just used story structure as a guide to keep me on track.

Later I used story structure to help generate ideas.

But over the past few years I’ve come to realise that story structure is not just a tool of good storytelling; it’s the KEY to good storytelling.

At its most basic level, storytelling consists of two beats: The Desire and The Battle.

At slightly more advanced levels there are additional beats like The Problem, The Opponent, The Plan, The Revelation and The New Level.

At its best, storytelling includes fun beats like The Rubber Ducky, The Mentor, The Talisman, The Dance, The Miniature and Crossing the Threshold.

One of the elements I am currently obsessed with is that last beat, the one called Crossing the Threshold.

In many movies there is often a moment when the protagonist must leave their ordinary world and enter a world of adventure, usually on a journey or a quest for knowledge or a reward (i.e. The Desire). Think of The Wizard of Oz. A terrifying tornado lifts farm girl Dorothy out of black and white Kansas and deposits her in technicolour Munchkinland. In the first Harry Potter movie, Harry has to push a trolly through a brick wall at Platform 9 and ¾ to get on the Hogwarts Express. In The Matrix, Neo takes the red pill and melts into a mirror. This is borrowed from Jean Cocteau’s film Orphée, based on the Greek myth of Orpheus.

In the Pixar's Up, Mr Karl Frederickson flies away from his ordinary world in a house attached to a thousand coloured helium balloons. Remember how WALL-E, in pursuit of Eva (his Desire) grabs onto a rocket and passes through a crust of junky satellites before fizzing through Saturn’s rings? Epic!

Sometimes Crossing the Threshold involves crossing an actual threshold. In the first Hunger Games film, the camera lingers on the train door. The train door! That’s because that single step up will take Katniss out of her ordinary world and into the world of adventure. The moment she steps on the train she has left drab District 12 and enters a world of colour and abundance, in short she is in the Capital. This transfer is reinforced by a long shot of the train snaking through wooded mountains to the big city. There are many crossings of thresholds in the first Hunger Games movie. I counted at least half a dozen. 

In Paddington, my favourite film of 2014, the bear from darkest Peru crosses no fewer than a dozen mini-thresholds, including the actual threshold of the Brown’s house. The writer/director, Paul King, knows the power of crossing the threshold which is why the camera lingers on Paddington’s paws stepping over it.

Sometimes there are Threshold Guardians, another fun trope. Threshold Guardians are people or creatures stationed at the portal between one world and another to make sure the hero really deserves to pass through. I always think of the old man by the bridge in a hilarious scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail: ‘Stop! Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.’ 

Sometimes the threshold is to keep bad things out. This is the premise of many horror stories including Alien and Jaws.

Sometimes Crossing the Threshold marks the end of Act One. Or The Point of No Return. Or the beginning of the Battle. Sometimes the best Crossing of a Threshold comes right at the end: The Shawshank Redemption, Thelma and Louise, Blade Runner…

Why do we like this beat so much? I believe it is because everyone who ever lived can identify with it. We cross thresholds a dozen times a day, whenever we leave a room, a house or even a town or country. We also cross major Thresholds in our lives. When I visit schools, I ask the kids to tell me the Seven Major Thresholds they have crossed (or will cross) in their lives. ‘What’s the first threshold you ever cross?’ I ask. ‘The first time you leave a place you feel safe and go into a strange and unknown world?’

They all get it: When we are born! And the last threshold we ever cross? Presumably when we die. As Peter Pan says, ‘… an awfully big adventure.’

Our lives are a succession of journeys, some big and some little. Strung all together, they make up our life’s journey.

To discover more about this trope and others mentioned in this blog post, dip into my book How To Write a Great Story, delightfully illustrated by Linzie Hunter, who did all the illustrations on this page. 

Mule vs Volcano

When I go into schools and stay on to do a writing workshop, I almost always set a task of writing a story called ‘Escape from Vesuvius’. There were at least 20,000 people living around the volcano in the first century AD and I reckon each one of them had their own story. We always start by listing the seven plot beats which I have adapted from Hollywood script guru John Truby. Sometimes we start with the hero’s weakness – or Achilles Heel – which will give us the lesson learned AKA step 6, The Knowledge. At St Lawrence Junior School yesterday we were running short on time so we started with his problem: volcano! Acting as the show-runner in a TV writers’ room I got the kids to brainstorm ideas for our hero’s gender, age, name and skills. We voted on them and quickly mapped out the basic plot. If possible I try to get them to come up with a subtitle and in this case we voted for Mule vs Volcano. We had just enough time for a few of the children to read their first paragraphs and they were great. 

But this morning I took a few hours to write my own version. Here’s what I came up with. 

Escape from Vesuvius: Mule vs Volcano 
by Caroline Lawrence 
(with the help of year 4 from St Lawrence Junior School)

It started like any other day. But that was the day I learned an apple can save your life. 

I woke at dawn, slipped on my tunic and splashed water on my face from the jug beside my bed. Then I let myself out of the front door and ran to the baker’s shop. Although our baker makes deliveries, I like to run whenever I can. Most afternoons I train in the palaestra of the Stabian Baths but I like to run first thing in the morning too, when the world is still cool and fresh and the sun is just rising. I run barefoot along the smooth pavements of my town, Pompeii. The soles of my feet are hard as leather. I usually take the long way round to the baker’s, then come back with three warm round loaves under my arm.  

My name is Maximus and I am sixteen years old. My household is small. Just me and my aged parents. We used to have a slave but never got around to replacing him. Our needs are few. My mother can only walk a few steps at a time but she weaves happily in her high-backed wicker chair while my father teaches me to speak eloquently in Greek as well as Latin. 

In the evenings I read passages of Homer’s Iliad or Odyssey to my parents. My favourite story is the one at the end of the Iliad where Achilles chases Hector around the walls of Troy. I always hope that somehow this time Hector will escape, but of course he never does. The words of the poem are etched into my brain like letters in a wax tablet. That story is like one of Plato’s forms: it exists somewhere outside our world, on a higher level. 

Sometimes when I run, I recite that passage. It is as if I am Hector, running from Achilles. 

On that fateful day, I was having a lesson with my father in the garden. My mother sat nearby, in the shade of our apple tree. She was making thread from a drop spindle, turning a clump of wool into fine strong yarn.  

It was almost noon when we heard shouts coming from outside. I hurried out into the street. My neighbours were pointing north, and I saw something like a fat white thread of wool rising up on the horizon.

My father came out a moment later, leaning on his walking stick. 

The smell of rotten eggs filled the air and soon ash was falling. The sky was getting darker, as when clouds gather. 

That was when I remembered the dream I’d had the previous night. The white-hot ghost of Achilles had been chasing me. 

I knew it was a warning, sent by the gods.  

‘We must go!’ I told Pater about my dream. ‘We must get away as fast as we can.’ 

‘But how?’ he replied. ‘I can only walk with the help of a stick and your mother can barely walk at all.’ Then he grasped my shoulders. ‘Son, you are fast. Save yourself. Run! Your mother and I have lived a good life. If it is the will of the gods, we will die a good death.’ 


‘No!’ I cried. ‘I will not leave you.’ 

If had been strong I might have carried my parents, one under each arm. But despite my name I am not powerful. I am fast, yes, but also skinny. 

Then I had an idea. ‘Your old chariot!’ I cried. ‘I can pull you in the chariot!’ 


When my father was young, he had raced chariots and he still kept his favourite in our storeroom. It was made of wicker, leather and beechwood and was very light: like a basket on wheels. 

‘Put on all your jewellery!’ I cried to my mother. ‘Pater, get anything valuable that we can easily carry! And bring some food!’ 

A moment later my aged parents stood in the small chariot as I pulled them out the front door of our house. 

Ash covered the pavement and street. People were already fleeing, carrying their belongings on their backs, holding children by the hand. Some had cushions tied to their heads to keep off the falling embers. Others wore napkins over their noses and mouths to keep out the ash. 

I hurried back inside and soaked two cushions in water from the fountain, then tied them to my parents’ heads. For myself I soaked my hooded woollen cloak in water and put that on. 

Then I grasped the two side beams of the chariot and pulled. 

At first it was easy enough, but soon I was coughing and wheezing. I was not used to pulling the weight of two people, even old ones who are not very heavy. 

As we reached the town gate, I had an idea. 

At the stables we could hire a horse to pull us. 

But as we reached the stables, I saw others had the same idea. 

The only animal left was a stubborn looking mule with a badly swollen front left hoof. 

‘That one’s Podagrosus,’ said the stable owner. ‘I’ll let you have him for a thousand sesterces. But I doubt you’ll get him to move.’ 

One thousand sesterces was a huge amount to pay for a lame mule, but I had no choice. I reached into my belt pouch and pulled out ten gold coins, almost all our savings. The stable owner greedily took them, then bit one to make sure it was pure. A moment later he was hurrying out of the stable. 

Left alone, pulled the chariot over to the mule, hitched him to it with a wooden yoke lying nearby, then grasped his bristly mane and tugged. 

‘Come on, Podagrosus,’ I said. ‘Let’s go.’ 

The mule gave me a sideways look but did not budge.  

I took my father’s walking stick and beat his rear. 

It was like beating a marble statue of a mule. The creature did not even twitch. 

‘Stop, Maximus!’ called my mother, who has a soft heart. ‘Here!’ She reached down the front of her stola and pulled out a red apple. 

‘Look, Podagrosus,’ I said, holding it up. ‘A nice juicy apple, fresh from the tree in our garden.’ 

Podagrosus took a step forward. 

Holding out the apple, I backed through the open doors of the stable and onto the street. 

Podagrosus followed. 

I had done it! 

Suddenly the mule lunged forward and closed his teeth on the apple.

‘Ow!’ I cried. ‘He almost bit my hand off!’ 

‘I have one more,’ said my mother. ‘Use it wisely.’

‘Think, Maximus!’ I told myself. ‘Think!’ 

Then I had an idea. ‘Mater,’ I said. ‘Do you have any thread?’ 

‘Always!’ She pulled her spindle from down the front of her tunic and I took two arms’ lengths of strong woollen thread. I tied one end to the stem of the apple and the other to the end of my father’s walking stick. Then I stuck the other end of the stick into the yoke of the mule so that the apple hung about half an arm’s length before his nose. 

Podagrosus limped forward, always going for the apple but never quite able to reach it. 

By the time his swollen foot prevented him from going any further we had made it beyond a spur of the Milky Mountains near Stabiae, and I knew we would be safe. 

‘Well done, Podagrosus!’ I said and gave the tired mule the apple he had been straining after for three hours. ‘I promise we will take good care of you for the rest of your life. And all the apples you can eat.’ 


The End

Your Hero's Journeys

[This is the talk I gave at Speech Day for the prize giving ceremony at Princess Helena College on Saturday 27 June 2015. Because I wrote the speech as notes on index cards, it is not verbatim.]

Ladies and gentlemen, girls. It is a huge honour to be here on this very special day of your Prize Giving Ceremony. It is also a bit daunting to be asked to give inspirational advice in fifteen or twenty minutes. So when I started to write this talk a few days ago I posted a thread on my Facebook page. I asked my Facebook friends a question: If you could go back in time and give your teenaged self ONE BIT OF ADVICE what would it be?

My writer friend Robert Muchamore said:
5 11 24 30 31 36 will win you 200 million pounds in the first ever euro millions...

My writer friend Sarah Naughton said: Don’t go on Jim’ll Fix It

My writer friend Anthony McGowan’s advice to his teenage self was: You should have snogged Carmel Byrne when you had the chance.

But most of my friends essentially said Find out who you are and be true to that, or Follow your dreams!

I think my advice to my teenaged self would be: Go for it and enjoy the ride!

In my life I have had many passions, but the most abiding is my love of stories, especially books, TV and movies. At this cycle of my life, I am a storyteller so I’m going to share some wisdom gleaned from writing my books and from Going to the Movies.

About 50 years ago, a famous anthropologist named Joseph Campbell made a study of world mythologies and discovered that they all have stories about a Hero who goes on a journey, and the steps of that Journey are essentially the same. He called his ground-breaking book The Hero With a Thousand Faces. The reason the story beats are so powerful and compelling is that they are the steps we take in our own lives, over and over, big and small.

1. Hero’s Ordinary World
The first step of the Hero’s Journey is when we find the hero in their ordinary world. Think of Luke Skywalker from the 1977 film Star Wars, watching a double sunset on the desert planet of Tatooine, dreaming of fighting the evil Empire. Or think of Katniss from The Hunger Games, supporting her little sister and dysfunctional mother in District 12. My journey to becoming a writer started about 20 years ago, in 1995. I was living in London, on my second marriage, with a son from my first. I was teaching Latin and art at a small primary school after having done a degree in Classics from Cambridge.

2. Herald - The Call to Adventure
In Star Wars, Luke’s ‘call to adventure’ is a holographic message from Princess Leia.
For Katniss, it is the moment when her younger sister is called to participate in deadly games from which only one teen will emerge victorious. Katniss impulsively volunteers to take her younger sister’s place.

Sometimes in our ‘ordinary lives’ the Call to Adventure is something the screenwriter Blake Snyder calls the Whiff of Death. It is the moment when we realise we are stagnating. I loved teaching but it was exhausting. I remember thinking, I can’t keep this up forever. An idea popped into my head, You’ve always toyed with the idea of being a writer. Maybe now is the time to try!

3. Refusal of the Call
In many (but not all) mythic journeys, the hero often gets ‘cold feet’ at this point as she is called out of her comfort zone. In Star Wars, Luke protests that he has too much homework and has to help Uncle Owen on the farm. Katniss didn’t hesitate because she acted on impulse. In our own lives we often hesitate because we doubt if we have what it takes to achieve our dreams.

4. The Mentor
Step four of the Hero’s Journey is the Mentor. This is someone who encourages the hero to ‘go for it!’ The Mentor is often a wizard, teacher or librarian who can give the hero the knowledge they need. Obi Wan is a good mentor. At the beginning of The Hunger Games, Haymitch is a bad one; he tells Katniss and Peeta ‘You’re going to die.’ He becomes a better mentor over the course of the story and near the end he can tell Katniss You can do this, and mean it. 

My mentors were my parents. They were five thousand miles away, but their belief in me gave me the confidence I needed to embark on a career as a writer in my 30s. Your new Headmistress, Mrs Sue W-W, has just told us how she was hugely encouraged when her coach had told her You can’t do better than a personal best.

When I asked my Facebook friends to post advice, I got several very moving replies. Marcus White, who directed some episodes of the Roman Mysteries TV series based on my books, wrote this: “I was an outsider as a teenager for lots of reasons. I felt confused and lacked confidence. I did have a secret ambition, however, to work in Television. When I eventually found the courage to confide in family or friends I was told that this was just a pipe dream. And that people like me could never achieve this. I was lucky that I had a much older friend, my godmother, to talk to and share my dreams. Advice - you need a champion in your life.”

At that stage of Marcus’s life his family and friends were opponents, but he found a Mentor in his godmother.

One fun thing about the mentor is that they often give the hero a Talisman. This is a physical object designed to help and encourage the hero. The talisman is often magic and sometimes glows, like Luke’s lightsaber, Dorothy’s ruby slippers or Frodo’s ring, (the most famous talisman in 20th century literature.) But the Talisman is not always magic. Think of Katniss’s mockingjay pin. 

The Talisman often looks back as well as ahead. Katniss’s pin reminds her of her home in District 12, but it will become a good luck charm and later a symbol of a whole freedom movement. Luke’s lightsaber belonged to his father and is the weapon of the Jedi Knight. Paddington’s hat belonged to his Uncle Pastuzo, and before that to the Explorer, who once told Paddington’s family If ever you come to London you will be assured a warm welcome. That hat will save Paddington's life at one point and lead him to his ultimate destiny.

My Talisman was a battered paperback copy of The Last of the Wine, the book that had changed my life by sparking my lifelong study of Classics. It would also be an inspiration for my first book. 

5. Crossing the Threshold

In life, as in any Hero’s Journey, the Mentor can only go so far. After a certain point, the hero is on her own. That point often comes when the hero Crosses a Threshold. In movies, Crossing the Threshold is one of the most visually exciting moments. Think of Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz. Luke leaving Mos Eisley. Neo melting into a mirror. We can even visit the first big threshold Harry Potter crosses at platform 9 3/4s at King's Cross Station. In her address to us a few minutes ago, Sue W-W talked about the moment she first crossed the threshold of Princess Helena College… 

Paddington has to leave darkest Peru and go on the lifeboat across a great ocean… ALL BY HIMSELF. The best movies have several crossings of the threshold. There are at least a dozen in Paddington, including the moment when he actually steps over the threshold of the Brown’s house. The camera shows us his little paws as he hesitates for a moment, standing outside in the rain, before stepping over. A Chinese philosopher famously said, ‘The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.’ Sometimes just one step takes you over the threshold. Think of the moment when Katniss steps onto the train.

Your hero will often encounter Threshold Guardians at this point. They are there to make sure you are equipped and worthy of the journey. Threshold guardians are the people who interview you for your university place, gatekeepers, We all know threshold guardians from security at airports, because crossing a border is like crossing a threshold. You leave one world for another.

6. Allies, Opponents, Tests and Training
The hero must learn the rules of the new world and how it operates. And she must prepare herself for a Test or Battle. For this reason, the Opponent is often one of the most important people our hero will meet in the new world. We learn much better after a struggle. Sometimes, our opponents are internal ones, like self-doubt. There is often a Training sequence which is usually shown by a Montage with upbeat music, because it is often long and tedious, and storytellers have to condense it for storytelling purposes. IN YOUR LIVES THERE ARE NO MONTAGES. You have to practice your sport, learn your declensions, master your art. 

My allies were script doctor John Truby who recorded a story structure course on twelve cassette tapes and gave me a structure on which I could build plot. Other teachers and allies, though I never met them, were Joseph Campbell who said ‘Follow your Bliss’ and Christopher Vogler, a screenwriter who made Campbell's dry book accessible. I had to learn other aspects of the craft of writing, including how to touch type. 

The tests and training part of a story it is a slog, but is very important in preparing the hero for the ultimate test or battle.

7. Approach to the Inmost Cave - The Battle
There have been many tests and battles but there is often a big battle that comes before a breakthrough. The hero often descends into the underworld, a maze or a cave to fight the ultimate opponent. Or they may go to the top of a building or a mountaintop. There is often a DRAT, a Desperate Race Against Time or a Ticking Clock. Anyone who has sat an exam can identify with that. I’d been learning the techniques of writing for five years but my sister gave me a good idea and I knew I had to get it on paper in the last two weeks of the summer holiday.

8. Supreme Ordeal or Visit to Death
There comes a moment after all the work, training, sweat and tears when you have to leave your desire on the altar. You have to be willing to give it up. You have wanted nothing else for days, weeks, months, years… But you must also hold your dreams lightly, trusting that God or the Universe knows what’s best. Luke Skywalker pushes away the electronic controls to use The Force for his one chance at blowing away the Death Star. If he fails, he dies. Katniss and Peeta are prepared to eat poisonous berries which will kill them. As a Christian, I offered up my first book and desire to be a published author to God, praying that His ‘will be done’

9. The Reward
Sometimes the hero gets exactly what she dreamed of.  Luke destroys the Death Star. Katniss wins the Hunger Games, and saves her friend Peeta. Paddington finds a home. I got a publishing deal. 

But sometimes the answer is NO. Sometimes the hero doesn’t get the prize but she gets something more valuable: knowledge. I once had a student who later wanted to read Classics at Oxford. He was rejected twice but is now a member of a famous pop band. Not only is he rich and famous, but more importantly he has enriched the world by blessing others through his creativity. Where would he be if Oxford had accepted him? Sometimes APPARENT DEFEAT is the best possible outcome.

10. The cycle begins again.
The hero has got her desire. In a movie she grasps the prize, she rides into the sunset or kisses her lover. In real life we are never satisfied and we want something else. 

By the way, although we are always the hero of our own story sometimes we are not always called to be a leader. Sometimes was are called to be someone else’s ally, teacher, mentor or even opponent. I think I am being called to be a Mentor. Think how powerful Malala has been in her journey as an opponent. 

The prizes I am about to give out are like Talismans given to you by your Mentors.

Take them with you into the new world you’re about to enter. (I’m not going to call it the Real World because you’re already in the real world.) The world you’re about to enter is just one of many you will enter throughout your lives.

These prizes look back at your past achievements but they hint at the untapped possibilities for you in the future. Most of all they will remind you that here at Princess Helena College you have friends, teachers, allies and mentors who believe in you and LOVE you. They – and I – wish you joy and fulfilment on your Hero's Journeys.

How I Write

Recently I've had a flurry of requests for information about my writing process from students working on advanced projects. 

There is a FAQS page on my website and also a page devoted to Writing Tips, but because I believe that fiction writing is a craft that can be learned through study and practice – and because I am a teacher at heart – I have decided to to post some of the more recent questions and answers here.

I hope this helps some of you with your advanced projects and creative writing. Remember, writing is a personal process. If you don't like my answers, ignore them! I can only tell you how I write. 

How do you begin planning your books before writing them?

I make a wish list of goodies I want to include: fictional characters, real historical figures, themes, topics, ideas, myths, places, objects, food, plants, animals and sometimes even lines of dialogue. Then I map out a story structure based on a combination of Hollywood screenwriting templates I like: John Truby's Story Structure, The Hero's Journey and Save the Cat!®. This keeps me on track but I am not slavish about sticking to the route. 

Do lots of authors use similar methods of plotting?

Yes, I think many authors find a template useful. Some people can bake a cake by instinct, but I need a recipe to work from.  

Do you ever start writing without planning? 

Sometimes it's good to pour a stream of ideas onto a sheet of paper but at some point I will need a structure. For me, writing is a balance of the logical list-loving Left Brain and the creative, intuitive, Right Brain. 

Do objects enhance a story? If so, why? 

Yes! Objects and artefacts help bring a world to life. They also please the daydreaming side of our brain; the creative Right Brain likes music, sounds, smells, tastes and textures. Objects also help ground a book historically. 

Do you find weapons are frequently used in your crime novels? If yes, why is it so? 

Yes! I love my Western guns and Roman swords. I get quite nerdy because specificity is good.  

What are the differences, if any, between writing historical fiction and writing fiction which is set in the modern day? 

For me none. I treat my modern day fiction just like my historical fiction, with great attention to detail, artefacts, slang, dress, etc. For me this isn't a chore, but a delight. 

How do you research the factual portion of the story beforehand? 

The internet has a truly amazing range of literature available at the touch of a keyboard. Most of my sources for the P.K. Pinkerton books, set in Nevada Territory 1862, come from newspaper archives and old magazines, like Godey's Lady's Book, which shows up-to-the-date fashion and recipes among many other delights. 

For my Roman Mysteries I use my own collection of classical Loebs in Greek and Latin with translation on the right: Pliny the Elder, Josephus, Strabo, Herodotus, etc. They will soon be available online now, too. 

Do you have any go-to reference works? 

For my P.K. Pinkerton books I use the vast catalogue of letters and photos made available to the public at Berkeley's Mark Twain Project. I also use the massive three volume journal of Alfred Doten. This latter has not yet been digitalised so I invested in my own copy via Amazon.com. 

Do you regularly use any libraries? Which ones? 

My husband Richard is a member of The London Library. I often send him off on a quest for specific titles. Very occasionally I use the Classics Library at UCL. But I am intrinsically lazy and use the internet for 95% of my research. 

Do you use any paid-for information resources?

In writing the P.K. Pinkerton books I used Harper Magazine's online archive. I could access illustrated back issues from the mid 19th century. I also tend to buy books rather than take them out on loan. I found a book called Letters from Nevada Territory (the proceedings of the 1862 Nevada legislature) at the Nevada Legislative Gift Shop in Carson City. It was expensive but invaluable.
How do you record what information sources you use?

I usually just jot down key phrases or sentences on my computer but sometimes I will read a passage onto my iPhone and listen to it while on the go. 

To what extent does the fact you write for children and young people impact your research?

The fact that I write for young people does not affect my research at all. I access anything and everything I can. Any modification or softening of material occurs in the actual writing process. 

Do you find there are any differences between researching for an academic piece and researching for fiction?

Not really. The difference comes in the writing. In fact, I try to make my academic writing as accessible as my fiction. So you might not really call my non-fiction articles and blogs "academic" as much as popular fact. 

When writing historical fiction, how do you balance historical facts with creating an interesting story for the reader?

I try to use all the most interesting and engaging historical facts to flesh out my hero's journey. 

How far do you think you can go with historical references, given that the reading audience may not understand or recognise them?

I don't care if people get them or not. I know they give a sense of authenticity to my stories! So I use the ones that are relevant to my story. 

Which voice is more suited to historical fiction books: first person or third person?

For me, the choice of first or third person is more a feeling of trial and error to see which fits the character and story best. 

When you write, do you generally use 1st or 3rd person?  

My output as of 2014 consists of 30 novels and two collections of short stories. Roughly two thirds of those novels and stories are in the third person voice, but my half dozen most recent books are in first person.  

Do you think that there is a certain tense which is more suited to historical fiction?

Again, it depends more on the character and story being told. Present tense can be very powerful even when writing about two bronze age boys. 

How important do you think it is to visit the location in which the book is set, even if it may have changed considerably since the period that you are writing about?

Being able to visit the location of the book is one of the biggest delights in researching a book. Even though the flora may have changed with the introduction of new plants, temporal aspects like migrating birds and food in season, quality of light, atmosphere, and "three-dimensionality" don't really change. 

How much do you feel you have to stick to the known facts about historical characters and how much do you use your imagination when creating their personalities?

I like to give my characters a certain amount of free rein which is why I try not to let "real" historical characters play too big a part in my books. I failed slightly by making ten-year-old Suetonius and 18 year old Gaius Valerius Flaccus love interests in the Roman Mysteries. But I've been more self-controlled about Mark Twain's cameo's in my P.K. Pinkerton books. 

How far do you modernise the language when writing a historical character’s dialogue?

For my Roman Mysteries I use modern English because Latin would have sounded modern to them. I try to eliminate English and American phrases and cliches, while introducing a few expressions like "Pollux!" or "Great Neptune's Beard" to give the dialogue a period feel. Finally, I sprinkle in real Latin words like palla, triclinium and strigil without italicising them. 

For my P.K. Pinkerton books I am much more careful to use authentic vocabulary, word order and slang. In fact, I've composed a whole dictionary of authentic and non-authentic words for Nevada Territory in 1862. 

Do you have any final tips for would-be writers?

Always read your work out loud at least once in the final editing process. And have fun! 

P.S. When I go into schools, I talk about the Hero, the Seven Plot Beats, the Five Archetypes and other storytelling techniques like Crossing the Threshold, Save the Cat, the Dance and the Rubber Ducky. Here's a Mind Map made by creative speaker Jayne Cormie after watching a talk I did for 11-year-olds in a British prep school. Feel free to print it, use it and share it! To see more about my school events, go HERE.

Find lots more writing tips in How to Write a Great Story!

12 Useful Writing Tips for your Second Draft

University of Westminster

On a recent glorious sunny summer Saturday in London I attended a Raindance course with Linda Seger on writing SCENE and DIALOGUE.

Yes, I've been a published author for over a decade but it's always good to have reminders, things to check as you go through a draft. And no, her class wasn't for novelists like me but for screenwriters. Still, I reckoned I might be able to adapt some of her tips. "Great writers are both artists and craftspeople," said Seger at the start of her one-day seminar. "Technique is what you fall back on when the writing doesn't flow naturally."

She didn't really give us techniques, but she did show examples of good scenes and dialogue. While she was speaking, I swished her advice around in my head with stuff I already know from studying John Truby and Blake Snyder, and came up with the following DOZEN USEFUL WRITING TIPS which I will apply to the second draft of my current work in process.

TIP 1. The main job of a SCENE is to move the story forward. If a scene doesn't move the story forward, bin it! A scene should also be specific, accurate and visual thus letting the reader/viewer know WHERE & WHEN the story is taking place. One of Seger's favourite CATALYST SCENES is the murder scene from Witness.

TIP 2. A TURNING POINT in a scene is when circumstances make it impossible for the character to keep doing what he's doing. Most scenes have two but some have more. We watched the Rolling Bus/Oncoming Train scene in The Fugitive.

TIP 3. Don't forget to ESTABLISH where your action is taking place and show the GEOGRAPHY of the location (house, town, spaceship, etc) if necessary. Seger showed us the opening sequence of Downton Abbey as an impressive example of this.

"Crossing the Threshold"

TIP 4. You often get a SHOW STOPPER scene at the end of Act One. Christopher Vogler would call this CROSSING THE THRESHOLD, Snyder would call it Fun and Games and Truby might remind us that act divisions are irrelevant. Seger showed the Family Dance Scene from Billy Elliot. She also talked about what she called MAGIC & WONDER scenes. These all seemed to involve flying and music. Her example was the flying and music scene from Out of Africa.

TIP 5. Be creative in transitions from one scene to another, try using an EMOTION instead of an OBJECT to ease the segue. A relative of Seger's claimed people only have four main emotions: MAD, GLAD, SAD OR SKEERT (scared). However, the emotion Seger chose for her example was more subtle; she showed us transitions showing characters being REFLECTIVE (i.e. pensive) from the Paul Haggis film Crash.

TIP 6. When in doubt, use an odd number of pages/minutes, turning points, or characters in a scene. Seger claims the optimum length for scenes seems to be 3 1/2 minutes or multiples thereof: 7 minutes, 14 minutes or -- rarely -- 21 minutes long. (eg. the Opera Scene in Moonstruck)

TIP 7. Like SCENES, the job of DIALOGUE is to advance the story. Your main character will often have a MISSION STATEMENT (e.g. Jerry Maguire). Truby would call this the PLAN. Sometimes it can be stated quickly and simply.

TIP 8. Seger then breaks her own rule by suggesting an easy trick of making EXPOSITION dialogue more interesting: have two characters question your protagonist, (or bring him the problem), instead of just one. Then they can bicker, interrupt each other, show different agendas, etc. A good example of this is the exposition scene in the lecture hall near the beginning of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. (I kept thinking of Blake Snyder's POPE IN THE POOL technique.)

TIP 9. Add excitement to a scene by giving some of the characters ATTITUDE. (Presumably this increases conflict, which is always interesting.)

TIP 10. We all know about using different rhythm, sentence length, vocabulary, dialect, etc, to differentiate one character's dialogue from another but what about introducing SOUNDS? A character could sniff, snort, slurp, grunt, even imitate animals as Helen Mirren and Christopher Plummer do in The Last Station. (A good example of this in literature can be found in True Grit, where author Charles Portis has one of Lucky Ned Pepper's gang make animal noises instead of speaking. It's funny and memorable.)

TIP 11. Dialogue can even communicate a story's THEME, via two characters putting forth their world views: Character A is the mouthpiece of the author and presents the theme, while Character B presents the contra-theme. Seger showed us a scene from Amadeus, where Salieri defends his hatred of Mozart to a priest. Truby would call this the OPPONENT ARGUMENT and suggest that a story's TAGLINE is another way to present THEME. Blake Snyder would argue that this is the job of the OPENING IMAGE. I say: why not use all three?

TIP 12. As the author of a series where my hero has to learn how to understand people, I especially liked Seger's reminder that SUBTEXT in DIALOGUE could be expressed in non-verbal BODY LANGUAGE. She ended by showing us clips from the episode of Frasier where Frasier and Lillith have an innuendo-packed debate on television, with amusing hair-loosening and body language.

Unlike many of my more talented writer friends, writing rarely just flows with me. I need all the techniques I can get. I hope you find some of these useful as well.

For more info on Raindance Courses visit www.raindance.com

Story Structure Masterclass

John Truby gives his Master Class in London 9 -11 July 2011

I have just finished attending my third Master Class with Hollywood script doctor John Truby. I came away with a list of ten practical tips to keep in mind as I plot out my next book. Most of them are things I already know from using Truby's principles over the past dozen years. A few are new to me. 

1. Be aware of the "character web" In a great story, all the characters are connected to each other in some way. This seems obvious, but it will be a good point for me to keep in mind as I start writing my third Western Mystery, which is a detective story set in a community.

2. Not every hero has a "moral need". Especially in children's fiction, the hero's weakness does not have to be one that hurts the people around him. Examples of great heroes without a "moral need" are Rocky, Harry Potter, WALL-E, The Dude and any "travelling angel" like Mary Poppins or Crocodile Dundee. My hero, P.K. Pinkerton, has plenty of psychological weaknesses and doesn't necessarily need a moral weakness. 

3. When writing Detective genre, figure out the opponent's plan first.
This also seems obvious but is easily forgotten. 

4. The evolution of the Story World should reflect that of the hero.
This is new to me and it's going to be exciting to try to do this. I already have some good ideas.

5. 3-track dialogue is a valuable tool.  

Track 1 dialogue is exposition or drives the story; 

Track 2 dialogue presents values and concepts; 

Track 3 dialogue employs key words and symbols. 

6. Make each "reveal" bigger than the previous one.

7. Start the hero's "desire" low and raise it with each "reveal".

8. Indirect & direct approach in dialogue.

9. Figure out the theme and main plot points before you start writing. 
As Truby says, once a story is written "it's like cement. It hardens in your mind and is much harder to fix the problems." 

10. The seven beat structure (with added "ghost" & "story world") rules. 
More detailed that the three-act structure but simpler that the Hero's Journey or Truby's own 22 plot beats, the seven beat structure is the one that works best for me. Its power lies in its accuracy and also in its simplicity. There is plenty of room for "right-brain" creativity, historical detail and real events.

Writing is like baking a cake while at the same time juggling the ingredients and implements. There are so many aspects to keep in mind and you've got to get the proportions and timing exactly right. Every book is a fresh adventure and a new challenge, and it never seems to get any easier. That's why being a writer is such a great job.

Storytelling in Star Trek

Narrative techniques used by the makers of Star Trek

Apart from the fact that one character is called Nero and another Tiberius (kind of) the new Star Trek film really doesn’t have anything to do with ancient Rome or The Roman Mysteries. So why a blog entry about it?

Because I love thinking about the craft of storytelling and Star Trek is an example of Hollywood storytelling at its best. Here are some of the tools the screenwriters used to make it fun, exciting and emotionally satisfying.

Caveat Lector: Spoilers adsunt!

1. RE-BOOTING - By invoking time travel, the makers of the franchise have pulled a brilliant coup. They've literally re-booted the whole series. The writers have taken the characters many of us know and love and by changing events in the future which affect the past they have given them the chance to start a whole new raft of adventures.

2. BREAKING THE RULES - In every sci-fi film ever made we all know that if you go back to the past and meet yourself, then the ENTIRE FABRIC OF THE SPACE TIME CONTINUUM will disintegrate. This film pulls a masterstroke by saying actually it's OK. This means wise old Spock can be a mentor to hot-blooded young Spock. This gives us potential for new set-ups and pay-offs we have rarely seen before.

3. RESPECTING & REFERENCING THE PAST – The original Kirk was randy and brash. The original Spock was logical and conflicted. Bones was a compassionate pessimist. Checkov had trouble pronouncing V’s. The film makers give nods to all these well-known traits of the characters we love, often in funny and clever ways. New fans won’t necessarily get the references, but old faithfuls will nod in approval.

4. HERO’S JOURNEY - The plot follows the classic steps of the Hero’s Journey, as articulated by Joseph Campbell, Christopher Vogler and others: the Hero’s World, the Call to Adventure, the Refusal of the Call, the Mentor (Pike: ‘I dare you to do better’), Crossing the Threshold, Collection of Allies, the Training, etc… However, they aren’t afraid to abbreviate steps in order to keep the pace clipping along. The Training is dealt with in two seconds by the title: THREE YEARS LATER, then jumps to a scene which shows us how brilliantly Kirk has combined skills he learned with his rebellious think-outside-the-box nature.

5. SINK OR SWIM - By taking young recruits and promoting them very quickly we get both a VERY YOUNG CREW and also the SUSPENSE that comes with characters possibly out of their depth.

6. DRAMEDY - The term ‘dramedy’ is applied by some screenwriters to a tense scene is tempered or relieved by humour. This is done brilliantly in many places in the new Star Trek film, but especially in the scene where Kirk has trouble imparting life-or-death-info because his fingers and tongue are swollen by an injection. Bones: ‘You have numb tongue?’ This scene also works brilliantly because the funny obstacle also adds suspense.

7. ARCHETYPES – the film makers use some of our favourite archetypes from myth and legend. The Hero – Kirk - who serves and sacrifices. The Mentor – Pike, who tells the hero his capabilities and calls him to adventure. The Sidekick - Bones - who supports the hero and acts as his conscience. The Trickster or Funny one – Scotty – who does the impossible. The Wild One – Spock – the ally with a wild side who often starts out by battling the Hero. He is destined to become a Sidekick, but not in this story.

8. SCENE DEEPENING – stuff going on in the background adds depth to a scene. E.g. the lugubrious alien in the Iowa bar scene between Kirk and Uhura gives a delicious and funny depth to the scene.

9. SET-UPS & PAY-OFFS – ‘I might throw up on you,’ says Bones to Kirk soon after they meet. ‘I might throw up on you,’ says Kirk to Bones a few scenes later. (Sadly the set-up of a prize beagle transported into space is never paid off.)

10. SUBTEXTS & REVEALS - Whoa! Who's Uhura dating? It's unexpected but not too unexpected. Because they did set it up and for a few scenes there was a nice little subtext. (Subtext is when a character is hiding something and we sense it on an unconscious level. This gives a nice depth to characters.)

11. KEEPING ACTION SCENES SIMPLE - Even in a highly advanced society, nothing gets the pulse pounding like fist-fights (I counted four) and cliff-hangers (at least three). They are also a lot easier to follow than complicated Transformer-esque battles, etc.

12. USE OF SYMBOLS – to name just a few:
1. THE PHOENIX - Kirk is born out of flames, like a Phoenix. Also, the escape pod is expelled from the mother ship as he is expelled from his mother.
2. THE MOTORCYCLE - Put a guy in a leather jacket and on a motorcycle and it says: Rebel without a Cause.
3. THE UNIFORM - Kirk does not put on his Starfleet uniform until the very last few scenes, by then he's earned it.
etc...

However there were at least FIVE THINGS that didn’t work.

1. OLD SPOCK - When Kirk is sent to the ice planet and just happens to meet Spock – HUGE coincidence - this should be a powerfully moving moment, but isn’t. This might have something to do with Leonard Nimoy’s mushy diction: a case of bad false teeth.

2. NERO - We are not really interested in the villain or his motives. The attempt to give him a backstory of his own doesn’t really work. Villains are very hard to get right. My favourite villain of all time is probably The Mayor, from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

3. LINGERING NEAR A BLACK HOLE – come ON! Everyone knows when a black hole starts you have to skedaddle!

4. NO REVELATION FOR THE HERO - My mentor John Truby talks about establishing your hero’s need at the beginning. This is something in the hero that needs to change near the end, as the hero has a revelation about himself. Kirk’s need is to be less of a brash rebel and more a team player, Spock’s is to control his repressed human anger. Neither of them have a clear moment when they realise their need and then show that they’ve changed, (though there are hints). I think if these beats had been clearer the end of the story would have had more impact.

5. FLAT ENDING – the famous Star Trek monologue combined with the theme song at the very end of the film should have been a transcendent moment, but it was just kind of… flat. Why? Possibly the structure (see previous flaw)... but who knows? Will have to think about it.

A Writer's Life

Sometimes people ask me what its like being a writer.

The room where I write

I am really blessed because about five years ago my husband Richard and I moved to a riverside flat here in London. It has been a lifetime dream of mine to live by the River Thames. To quote the actress Joanna Lumley, 'If I wasn't married to my husband, I might be married to the river Thames.'

We're on the second floor so the Thames is right there, flowing back and forth, two tides a day, always different. There is also a huge sky and my arched window faces northwest so I can see the sunset in summer. Sometimes in the winter when I get up early to write, there is a huge full moon sinking down towards the apartments over on the other side, it makes a silver path in the inky water. There's also a disused docking platform outside our window, from when these flats were warehouses receiving goods from the East Indies. This wooden platform is abandoned by people, but not by birds. At any one time I can see cormorants, ducks, geese, swans, coots and usually a heron.

On Saturday and Sunday mornings the skiffs and eights slide by, a coach with a megaphone urging his oarsmen on up the river. I also see tugboats carrying London's garbage up and down, and the occasional river cruise boat. But usually it's very peaceful and unbelievably quiet. At the moment all I can hear is a goose calling to his friends on the foreshore; it's low tide.

The river is on my left. At first I couldn't take my eyes off it but now I'm content to glance over and reassure myself that it's still there. I sit at a table with my iMac facing a wall covered with images.

I am a very visual person so I need to SEE what I'm writing about. I have images of things like a Roman ship, a calendar of the year 80 AD showing phases of the moon on each day, frescoes, mosaics, film posters and portraits of people I base my characters on. I often use jazz musicians rather than actors to inspire me. I don't know what they're like so I have to deduce it from their faces. For example, in my fourth book The Assassins of Rome, I base a character called Simeon on a jazz bass player called Slim Man. Actually I did see him play in a jazz club and that informed his character as it appears in the book.

I never listen to music or the radio while I'm writing but when I'm not writing music is a huge source of inspiration. I like smooth jazz, chill, lounge, whatever you want to call it. I usually don't like songs with words because that gets in the way of the picture that music alone can create. One of my favourite musicians is Larry Carlton. I've based songs in my books on some songs of his from the album Fingerprints, in particular a song called Slave Song which is Nubia's theme.


On either side of my chair is a stool with papers, letters and reference books in piles. On the wicker coffee table behind me are more piles of papers, at the moment they are mixed with postcards and receipts from a recent research trip to Athens.

Richard's map of Ostia Antica

My husband is a non-fiction writer and graphic designer and he works out of the living room next door. He does all the little maps and diagrams at the front of my books. We have a game where he brings me what he's done in his mouth – like a dog – and drops it on my desk. I mark up the changes and tell him to 'fetch!' A moment later he is back, wagging his tail, with the latest version in his mouth.

The one thing a writer must have is self-discipline. You have to fashion a routine that works for you and this can take years. Over the five years I've been writing full-time, this is the routine I've developed.

I get up between 5.00am and 6.00am, go straight to the computer and write until 10.30, 11.00 or 12.00 noon at the latest. Of course I get up to make a cup of coffee or get some toast and an apple, and I dress in phases (preferring to stay in comfy track trousers and sweatshirt as long as possible), but by the time Richard is up and the post arrives and the phone starts ringing, I have put in five or six hours. Then I'm done with the creative, focussed part of the day.

I have made a rule, which I occasionally break, never to look at my emails until after noon. Once I'm online I'm caught up in the demands and business there.

Late mornings I either go out to the gym or go for a long walk. Writers sit around all day so you have to be self-disciplined to keep fit. Walking is one of my best ways of getting ideas or solving problems. I'll put on a jazz tape or John Truby story structure tapes and walk and ideas just come to me. I have a circuit I do along the river, over Battersea Bridge, back along the river and over Wandsworth Bridge. It takes me about an hour and a quarter and usually I come back with my problem solved or a great idea for a future book.

"Vespasian" at the BM

I have been paid an advance for ten more books in the series and I have little folders on my computer for each one. I don't know exactly what each book will be about but I have a working title and setting and at least one idea for each. If I get a good idea while I'm walking I'll decide which of the books it would fit best with and put it on my ideas document for that book. If I can't decide which of the books it would be best for, I have one hold-all document called Ideas for the Future. Every time I get a good idea or come across a great turn of phrase or see a fascinating character I type it into this document, which is now 144 pages long. Running out of ideas is NOT one of my worries.

Want an example? Here's just one of the hundreds of quotes I've jotted down in this document. It's a quote by Buffy creator Joss Whedon: 'What's your favourite movie? What's one of your most memorable experiences? Now mix them...'

After my walk I have lunch, usually a cheese sandwich and apple, or a salad.

Then, in the afternoon I maintain my website, and answer emails. They're usually either from fans or requests by schools for me to visit. I limit my months for UK school events to two per year. It's really hard work and I can't write when I'm doing promotion.

A couple of afternoons per week, during my writing period, I go to the cinema. I love movies and all my writing methods are based on screenwriting techniques and story structure used in films. Here in London we have the NFT, the National Film Theatre, so I can go see classics like Nashville and La Dolce Vita on a big screen with lots of other film buffs. On Valentine's Day I'm taking my husband Richard to see Casablanca. I love the fact that in London you can see hundreds of good films, and for a reasonable price, if you go before 4.00pm.

replica wax tablet

Another thing I love about London are the Roman re-enactment events. The British Museum and Museum of London are both great for these. I've made many friends and now can order anything from a gladiator pen-knife to a wax-tablet.


When I am doing UK promotion (usually March and October) or overseas promotion (Spanish international schools in May) my day is completely different and I have to abandon writing, though I do jot down thoughts in my little notebook. I usually can't wait to get back to my riverside flat and my writing and my movies.

My holidays are spent doing research. In the past few years I've been to Rome, Ostia, Pompeii, Sorrento, Naples, Rhodes, the Turkish coast and Athens. My holidays are devoted to my writing, but my writing is like being on holiday. So that's OK.

P.S. The Roman Mysteries books are perfect for children aged 9+, especially those studying Romans as a topic in Key Stage 2. There are DVDs of some of the books as well as an interactive game. I am also writing a series called The Roman Mystery Scrolls for kids aged 7+ and the P.K. Pinkerton Mysteries...